The Funeral

My aunt Kelly had a beautiful service. I got to see many family I haven’t seen in a long time. There was bouquets of beautiful flowers surrounding beautiful pictures of my beautiful aunt.

We weren’t ready to say goodbye. I will miss you for the rest of my life. Not surprisingly, I didn’t have a friend to show up for support.

I’ve decided that I cant force someone to care back. No matter how much I did to support them, they don’t have to support me back. I have realized I can’t change their mind. I have realized that our friendship is most likely over.

Now I need to accept it. Just like I have to accept my aunt is gone.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

This prayer is not just for addicts.

  1. Hi Kira,
    Firstly, I am sorry to hear about the tragic passing of your Aunty and sad that you don’t have the support you need.
    I have been reading ur posts and so often I read something you have written and feel that someone else gets it, someone else gets that the struggle is real. That everyday is a battle, that some days that battle is easier than others. I keelp battling on wondering if I am ever going to feel normal again. I was diagnosed with major depression at the end of 2017 and have regular down days or weeks. I have anxiety and panic attacks and feel like I am not good enough. I wonder now if I have dysthymia (I think that is what it is called). I had several very significant events happen over a period of about 5 years, I thought I was coping and then I had a complete breakdown and was diagnosed with major depression. My mum thinks I had post natal depression particularly after my third child, I think she is right and I had it with each of my children and never got past it and then it has built up. Some days I struggle with the smallest things, like having to do the dishes, struggling to bring myself to do it and then feeling guilt and panic that I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had been doing ok, then my husband and I decided to move the furniture around in our house- we both wanted to. The day after we did it, the anxiety and panic attacks started, the not being sure if I like it, not wanting to put more work on my husband if I decide I want it changed back, I know it sounds silly, but it is how I have become. I think I now, feel like I am spending time doing things that aren’t important and then panic about it. I could go on and on. Writing a blog is a wonderful thing u r doing, it lets other people know that they are not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! I know exactly what you mean. I know I need to do something but can’t muster up the energy or desire to get it done, then I’m pissed at myself and call myself lazy. It really does suck. I was diagnosed with bipolar depression after my post partum depression didn’t go away after my second child but it was also a really hard time in my life. I forced myself to kick their dad out when I finally had proof he was cheating. So it all hit me at once and has never gone away. I also keep thinking I’m doing better, it’s been over 2 years since I’ve had a breakdown like this and it sucks! Thank you so much for sharing, I hope with more comments more people can read and know they aren’t alone at all, no matter how bad it feels. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤️


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